Thornhills in Every Season

Thornhills in Every Season

1.28.2010

with the one I love


I stopped @ the market tonight in the pouring rain. As I was leaving, a woman who worked there was coming back in with the carts she had collected from the parking lot. She was soaking wet & didn't even have a jacket on. I made a comment to her about what a rough job she had to do in the rain. She said, "No, I'm just walking in the rain with the one that I love."

I think I'm going to adopt her attitude.

intangible

Lindsay here.

The rain always serves to lift my mood & make me exceedingly happy – for some reason it is always just a reminder that God is present and in control, which I can't help but feel joyful about. But today, the darkness & dreariness has only served to add to my grief. I lost my Bible. Some of you are probably thinking - no big deal, just replace it. And yes, how blessed we are in America to so easily be able to gain a copy of God’s Word. Others of you probably know that a Bible is irreplaceable - especially if you are like me & are not afraid to write all over it. And mine is a journal Bible, which means lots of extra space, yay =) To get a new Bible almost feels like I will be starting from scratch. I underline like crazy the verses that are important to me. I take notes whenever I learn something new about a verse that I want to remember or that means something special to me. I keep prayer cards stuck in it, bookmarks, notes from my husband, lists of important verses, church notes, a picture of me & my husband, my list of words in Tagalog that the kids in the Philippines wrote out for me. It is so much a part of me and I just feel this huge sense of loss. My Bible is probably my most prized material possession and it is gone.

Along with this huge sense of loss comes a realization about my faith – not that I'm too attached to a material possession, but that I am too attached to the notes I've taken of what I've learned. I think I’ve been avoiding confrontation of this struggle, but today it was just brought so abruptly & undeniably into the light – I've been holding very tightly to an almost “cheat sheet” of my faith, fearing that if I don't have everything written down somewhere that I can reference, I won't know anything. Fearing that at any moment someone might ask me a question that I don't know the answer to. It's like a big part of my faith is not in me, but shakily written down on paper & in a book that can be so easily lost. That was so easily lost. I left it in the bathroom at work last night, along with the book "Sacred Marriage" by Gary Thomas, as I was ironically rushing to get to Bible study. They think the janitors probably threw my books away. [Aside: I'm sorry, but who would throw that away! I mean my name is imprinted on the front of my Bible & written on the inside - clearly it belongs to someone. Sigh]

I still need the tangible aspects of my faith – Scripture, communion, the church, my notes – but I also desperately need my faith to be more intangible, uncontainable, impenetrable, unshakable, unable to be stolen. I don't want to have a faith that I feel like I am barely holding onto by the things I have written down & haven't yet fully learned yet; that I only feel secure in if I can double check my notes first. I want it to be written on my heart. I need to take the time to commit things to memory instead of just jotting them down because I know I can always go back later and really learn them. Instead of just resting in the knowledge that I can ask my husband, the seminary student =)

Don't get me wrong, I still desperately want my Bible back (& I'm still praying it turns up!!), I still value the notes I have & the physical record of my learning process, but it just really hit me today how tightly I've been clinging to that. I desire to have a faith like the wise man, solid, unable to be moved & founded on Christ who is the only constant. I need to be ready when the storms come. I want to hear God speaking to me through Scripture when I don’t have a Bible with me. I want to feel confident in the faith that I profess & be ready to give an answer at any time of the hope that I have.

Does that make sense? I’ve been struggling all day to put into words how I feel about this. I think I understand. I think I’ll enjoy the storm tonight.

1.23.2010

back to the books



After a nice long Christmas break, semester #5 is upon us.

This semester's lineup:

- Hebrew 2
- Greek 5 - Romans
- Preaching 1
- Biblical Counseling
- Intro to New Testament / Inter-testamental History
- Spiritual Formation

David has once again succeeded in packing his classes into two days (with one online class) & is still working part-time. As much work as seminary is, by the end of an extended break, David is always itching to get going again - this semester was no different. I am told that I will be a "big part of this semester." I sometimes help with studying for Greek & Hebrew, we even have a little white board =) This semester, I will also get to be an audience as he practices his preaching & an editor for his Romans class (he has to write a paper for us "laymen"). I'm sure it will prove to be much fun - I'm really enjoying getting to be involved in what he's learning.

After this semester, we are looking at two more years for his masters. He still has his sights set on teaching Greek, which, yes, means a PhD after getting his masters. Does that mean staying here in Dallas, going back to Southern CA, moving somewhere new? - we really don't know yet, but we are open to God's leading & timing. At the moment, David is beginning to focus on his internship for next semester, then we will begin the process of considering PhD programs.

I am still working full-time and enjoying it, despite the anxiety it causes me =) Are all 'real' jobs this way? I am learning that I will eventually just need to be okay with making mistakes & having an unfinished to-do list at the end of every day. We are in prayer about a possible promotion.

While David is back to his studies, I am starting another new study of my own. The women at our church have been going through a study of the entire Bible, book by book, since the fall. I finally decided to jump in - we are in 2 Kings & I am really excited about it! God really gave me courage this week. I went to a dinner with about 50 women of all ages from our church who I didn't know. I joined this new study at our church with women I didn't know. And I had coffee with a new friend here in Dallas. If you know me, you know that all of those things are pretty hard/scary for me, but God calmed my fears & replaced them with excitement for moving forward. It was a busy, but fruitful week for us.

We are looking forward to another semester in Dallas =)

1.07.2010

"Arctic Blast"


It has many names here in Dallas - very reminiscent of our "storm watch" in cali - but whatever you want to call it, it's cold!

High: 30 degrees
Low: 15 degrees
Wind Chill: 8 degrees

My boss lent me her 'scraper' for my windshield & I used it for the first time this morning before work - it felt like I was making a snow cone.

Pray for David tonight, he has to work valet.

1.02.2010

Snow Day

The first White Christmas in Dallas in 80 years and we missed it! But, there was a second storm that came through just after Christmas, which meant I got to head home from work @ 3pm - severe weather is taken seriously here =) I got home just before the first of the slush began to fall. We were pretty excited about the prospect of snow - not that we haven't seen snow before...just never from the place we lived i guess.

It was mostly rain/snow (although they did get a few inches just an hour north of us), but as soon as it looked legitimate, we suited up & headed out to play in our Dallas snow =) Yay for the winter "season", for getting off work early, for coats & scarves.